Thursday, May 6, 2010

You know you're stuck with a redneck when

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Him: Honey, I think you're dry a bit, mind if I grab some lube?
Her: You know there is such a thing called foreplay
Him: Whatever, here put this on (after rummaging through the nightstand)
Her: What is this?
Him: Lube, lather it on honey
Her: It feels weird
Him: I'm going in
Her: It's like I'm lubed but I'm not
Him: Shut-up you're killing the mood
Her: Yeah but what is this stuff, ouch
Him: Ooh yeah, nice and tight
Her: Keep going
Him: Done!
Her: Already?
Him: What's for supper? (as he turns the light on to put away the lube)
Her: Wait what was that bottle?
Him: Uhm... (looks closer at the bottle) gun oil
Her: You made me slather gun oil in my vag?
Him: It's mineral you'll be fine, let's eat!

This is a true story of my ex-downstairs neighbors. I miss them.


  1. At least he didn't grab the Vicks !! lol

    Gotta love the rednecks... I grew up with them.. hell I may even BE ONE !! WOOT


  2. "At least he didn't grab the Vicks!" Love it, you just reminded me of a story I must blog about... just when I was wondering what to write next!

    You'll know you were the inspiration when you read it, it'll be oh too obvious. Cheers!

  3. BWHHHAAAHHAAA this is a great story didn't see that one coming (that's what she said)


Unless you are a zombie or a fembot, your comments are totally appreciated! Loved. Desired. And wanted (I added that in case it was not clear)