ohmygod that is so friggin gross!
We pretty much have less than a week here, in this apartment above the race shop. Holyfuckthatmeansigottareallygetgoing! Our entire inventory is DONE. DONE! I've been to the Goodwill and back so often, I wonder why I don't have my own frequent donor parking spot! Why don't I have my own spot???
Yet, shit in the apartment is still a mess. A real fucking mess. I know my stuff and Booby's stuff will not all fit in the pick-up. I know it! Yet I struggle. How many pairs of shoes should I have? Jeans? T-shirts? Dresses? Skirts? Clean pants? Sorry, I may have sprayed you from the ugly tears of frustration jetting out of me. OK, so there aren't any tears. Yet. But I know they're coming... don't you always know when liquid is about to come out? Sorry. I'm immature like that. Not about crying for no good reason, but for making sexual innuendos.
If you have one Blackberry phone, then you get a second one for the price of one, do you then have two Blackberries? Or 2 Blackberry's?
I've been really really good at getting rid of my belongings. Really good (so good I rewarded myself with a new tennis bracelet, but that's only because a bracelet is teeny weenie and doesn't take up any space). But, I think I have to reduce even more. And I'm down to the nitty gritty here peeps.
But lucky you, you get to witness me in this process. I will spaz out, freak out, sheak out, do the robot dance and get jiggy with you in the final frontier of days of my life as a wrench. And I am about to become a real gypsy! Thanks for your comments, I can now label myself. A gypsy.
Hey, when's the last time you saw, actually saw, in front of your own eyes two dogs stuck in a sexual act hopping around frantically trying to unstick themselves? I know right? Like 20 years? Maybe more? What's changed? Have puppy pussies gotten baggier as teenager's pants have? Or have I simply not been paying attention? As I'm getting ready to head out down the road, I need to pay more attention to REAL life around me (that and I'll be without internet until I get to hotel rooms to sleep for the night).
Cheers peeps! And don't be afraid to answer any of my trick questions above!
Wonderful post.
ReplyDeleteDang. That is one disturbing scene up top. Having too full a stomach before certain activities is always a bad idea.
ReplyDeleteAnyhow, regarding your predicament: Relax, you'll be fine. Moving is always stressful - whether it's house to house or house to... pick-up. You'll feel better once it's finally over & done with.
Have to try and get that image out of my head now.
travel light...and there are so many bad things i could say about the video...but the image is already burned into my retinas...and i will save from doing it to yours...smiles.
ReplyDeleteYou mean those questions weren't rhetorical?
ReplyDelete@ George: thanks! (psst, I'm following you now... watch out!)
ReplyDelete@ Vinny: I know right? It's always so much better after, as in "well that wasn't so bad!"
@ Brian: sorry! I still don't know why the heck I put it there, oh wait yeah because of my question regarding the 2 dogs!
@ Anonymous: yikes! It's always frightening to get a comment from Anonymous... actually no, there not rhetorical why do you ask?
Dog.Eats.His.Own.Barf. THAT made my stomach turn... did you see how girl dog got the fuck outta dodge when old boy yacked??
ReplyDeletebwwaaahhaaa ! !
You are simply amazing. I think I love you. No, I *know* I love you!!!
ReplyDeleteI can so feel your anxiety coming out in your words. Moving is so stressful but it will all be good. I am sure of it. Think I would like to be a gypsy. It is pretty much my plan for retirement, only I shall be a "grey nomad".Big Hugs
ReplyDeleteGGAAaahahaha. BEst video ever. I hate it when that happens to me. Must find a new word to define coitus regurgitatus phenomenon. ummm. vomit, puke, oh up chuck. got it. Fuckchuck! verb, the act of spraying your partner during coitus. Feel free to use that anytime.
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome.
On a related topic, have you heard of a "Cosby sweater?" before? Sounds right up your alley after seeing this.
Oh and lastly, to answer your question. I see two dogs humping pretty much every day. But it's always our 18 lb. Bisexual Boston Terrier "The Beast" just plowing the shit out of our 70 pound Pitbull Bonnie as she tries to awkwardly walk across the run to get away. Bonnie does take it like a champ. If they were in prison she'd be in trouble.
Nothing like watching cute animal vids to relieve tension and stress!
ReplyDelete