Trim That Shit!

Not that I'm a fashion police, neither is Booby (recall, Booby is my husband, but the term husband is just so blech and makes me feel really really old and wrinkly, so the term husband is only used in really officially high fatutin places, like immigrations, the doctors, police stations, etc.) but we do like to let people know what we hate... and wish people would oblige to OUR tastes that way we wouldn't have to see some of this stuff:

pollsb.com

That body hair? Trim that shit down. It's really disgusting. Wal-Mart sells really cheap trimmers, like $10, buy it, use it, own it.  Yes, I'm talking about chest hair, under-arm hair, back hair, even hair down there (or especially hair down there). It doesn't need to be shaved off completely (except for the nose and ears), but please for the love of Allah trim it! You'll thank me later (after sending me a really really nasty hate letter signed anonymously, of course!)

yourbestjeanshow.com

White shoes.  Rare is an opportunity where a white shoe is acceptable or not an eye sore, unless you are a wedding singer wearing a baby blue tux with lots and lots of fluffy shit. And white tennis shoes, or running shoes, or whatever you call them shoes with jeans is a definite no-no. If you need to go casual, that's ok, but find a colored shoe, please, PLEASE! Bonus horror points if they're velcro tied!

pineislandsportswear.com

Tie-dye. Unless you are a 10 yr old child (or younger) tie-dyes are so wrong. So wrong.

fashion-victims.org

Capris. A famous comedian once said: "Ladies, I don't care how hot a figure you have, capris never look good."  Personally, I find ankles very sexy and want to show them. I tend to wear shorter pants. You know, like water in the basement or as we used to call them way back when "floods". But Booby hates them. Wishes they were never invented. And as Vinny C's it, they are most definitely wrong on men. Especially if they are skinny! And I concur on that opinion.

page2live.com

Short hair. I used to believe short hair was such less maintenance and kept my do short, very short, like boyishly short. Then Booby asked me to let it grow and see how it looked. I accepted but told him I'd be hideous with long hair and if I didn't like it, snip-snip away. Oh my god! 1- It is such less maintenance! Bad hair day = simple ponytail. 2- I look so much better (it even helps make my nose look smaller!). In Booby's humble opinion EVERY woman should let her hair grow, it's more feminine. I tend to agree, but totally understand the desire to cut it short!

www.designerclothesonline.co.uk

Sweatpants. Nothing says "I give up" more than a baggy pair of drawstring sweats!  I had totally forgotten this one until a Vapid Blond kindly reminded me of them. OK, wanna hear the bonus points of horror on these little delightful eyesores? No tighty-whiteys and having your junk creatively and shamefully hang loose and lobbing all over the place. Bonzai! Goddamn that hurts my eyes!

You know what? I'm afraid to hit that "PUBLISH POST" button. I normally stick to funny shit, or hot and bothered sexy shit, or have my drama moments when I'm a poet & I donevenknowit! But this kind of controversial stuff, hmm, and to quote Austin Powers: it's just not my bag man.  Hopefully my favorite reader doesn't wear capri jeans with white velcro shoes and a tie-dye shirt as body hair is sticking out all over the place. And maybe you do but you don't care! That's a possibility, and why should I care? Why should I?

But then again if that question had any standing whatsoever I wouldn't be blogging now would I?