Thursday, April 7, 2011

The Challenge of Organized Women's Sports

www.cowshell.com
DISCLAIMER: I am a very open and cool person. I am. I truly am.

When I start getting involved in any team, oops, make that a woman's team of any sort, the hardest challenge I face is knowing if each new woman I meet is straight or lesbian.

Why is this important? If you know anything about me, you probably understand immediately why it has any importance. But let's say you've never actually met me (which pretty much sums up 99.9% of my readers) or that this is your first time here (hey, thanks for stopping by!). One of my motivations for joining any league is networking and making new friends.

And I don't give a rat's ass what you eat for pleasure. But... some do, and my over-friendliness can be off putting for some of my new "friends". I am always wondering "does she think I'm hitting on her?" or "hmmm... does she want me to hit on her?" See my challenge?

Now meet my new sport: roller derby.

Chicks who are badass is the most common denominator in this sport. And, yes, I will be doing a sexual orientation profiling: this is also pretty common among my les-be-friends. You know what I'm saying? Well, ok, not ALL lesbians are badass in-your-face-hard-core-slamming-other-peeps-to-the-ground type. You should meet my Montreal friend. Total opposite. But that's besides the point.

Last practice we all went out for taco Tuesday. Tacos: making Tuesdays 100% better around the universe! Disclaimer: I am not being paid by Taco Corp to make this claim. It's just my straight up belief.

Booby came along, because he's that kind of guy. Always open for fun, and girls drinking $2 Margaritas dressed in hot Derby clothes? Oh yeah... He'd be insulted if I didn't invite him. But at one point, one of the girls pointed at him and said "Who's THAT guy?" and one of my peeps said "Oh, that's Marr's husband!" (We all call ourselves by our derby names btw).

Oooof. I need to breath now (sorry, I've been totally struggling with breathing as a side effect from scuba diving this week-end). Where was I... Oh yeah, SO then the girl who asked who Booby was looked at me and something clicked. I saw her registering "Oooohhh, so she WASN'T hitting on me, she was just being friendly!" And I knew she was in the same place as I was.

I wish I had some kind of beeper telling me who eats what. It would avoid a lot of potential embarrassment. Ya know what I'm saying? I don't need to know so I can avoid you... I need to know because I just need to know! And although *I prefer sausage to taco, I do like my share of tacos (carne asada, that is!)

* if you've never seen 50 First Dates: watch it now, or you'll never understand this comment.

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8 comments:

  1. I FUCKING LOVE ROLLER DERBY!!!!

    The end.

    Hope the lesbians let you play, instead of want to play with ya.

    Signed,
    The Sausage

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  2. I have many a les-be-friends (love that btw) and on all sides its hard not knowing for them as well as us straight girls.

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  3. i love tacos and rollerderby....

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  4. I LOVE that you reference sexual orientation by "what you eat".

    Love. it.

    Also?

    Easiest way to tell if a woman's straight or not: show her a photo of Javier Bardem and watch the reaction.

    'Nuff said.

    - B x

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  5. You did such a great job with this post. I loved the references in here.

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  6. I wouldn't really worry if they're lesbian or not or what they think of you. I wouldn't worry about whether they think you're being flirty or not - what harm is it going to cause?

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  7. omg totally loved this and you're right sometimes it is helpful to know what someone eats so you can be on the same menu. great post as always

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  8. @ Lost: lesbians love me. anyway you call it, they usually love me. unless they hate me that is. sometimes they hate me.
    @ Brandy: but what about the gay-dar? I used to have one, but I lost it somewhere!
    @ Brian: such a good duo!
    @ The B: dam it, I need to carry a pic of Javier with me!
    @ OT: thanks! you're doing a great job too btw...
    @ Cake: but I worry about this stuff! I worry about everything btw!
    @ becca: being on the same menu is important! ha!

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