I'm Getting Naked

www.photo-dictionary.com/

Not that everything I do or say has to be sexual, but... Blame it on my culture. When I used to get together with my friends, back home in Canada, we'd talk (en français) raunchy and really lay it all out. It was fun. We laughed. We drank. And we bonded through our revelations.

Stealing Headlines: The Fad Will Never Die

www.boostblogtraffic.com

Jon Morrow's free book promises a fast and easy way to make your blog go viral. 

Who doesn't want to go viral? And his approach is rather simple. That is of course IF you know a lot of stuff...

Bored With The Decor

www.expand2web.com/

The more I play around with my blog, the more I cringe.

I'm just plain old b-o-mothafuckin-r-e-d with my layout. While I love the user friendliness of Blogger, and how the Google family just keeps growing on me:

Only Quitters Quit.

www.jordanschultz.com

Just as I was seriously beginning to think (yes, once again) about quitting. No more blogging ad nauseum, something happened to make me re-consider. I'm no quitter!

Today I read Jen O's post at My Tornado Alley about a fun idea: 30 Days of Shamelessness.

Shamelessness you say? Oh my... isn't that my middle name? I have no shame. It comes from my Mother's side of the family. My Dad's side was the one who had all that weird catholic guilt. Not based on the good traits of do-good-unto-others kind, but the sneaky talking behind other people's back pointing out THEIR faults kind so you can feel better about your nice traits. Or something like that.

My sisters take on my dad's side for this shame thing. I've put them to shame so often... Starting with my oldest sister's wedding. I was 15 years old. Drunk like a true professional. Falling over. Hanging onto my mother for the family pictures. Wonderful green tint on my face. Wonderfully shamelessly blasting my drunkeness all over my sister's wedding album! And now I will begin blasting it out here!

Yippee!

Pimped Out!

Our little buddy, the Simple Dude in a Complex World wrote a book! An ebook, but it's still a book no less! And if you want to grow your readership, trust me - you can take the word from this dude who in less than six months grew his readership to nearly 2,000 followers!

Click here for the link to find his book!

It's an easy read (would you expect anything different from a guy who calls himself Simple Dude?) but also very catching. It certainly provides wonderful tips on how to make your blog more interesting, how to market yourself as a blogger and how to reach success. If you've been blogging for a while you'll most likely wish you'd read this in the earlier stages of your blogging... I know, right?

So... yeah, check it out and it's worth the investment! I've read it already, but I'm thinking of reading it again (yeah, just checking up on the ol'Dudester to see if he ignored my feedback and recommendations or not - haha). But go ahead, splurge you won't regret it!

Cheers!

Oddly Enough...

The coolest thing about Cake Betch is she doesn't know she's marvelous.

You find yourself in bed by your pretty little wife, and you may ask yourself "This isn't my pretty little wife?".

The last time I posted, many many moons ago, was to accept an award I'd received from superstar Cake Betch. And today I'm back, and guess what? The Cake'ster has ME over in her Hot Mess Chronicles featuring my shower story with her amazing drawr-ings! And it's AMAZING! I'm so thrilled!

Guess Who Lurves Me?

Cake Betch is hurting... help make her feel better!

Cake Betch is a cool blogger. I found her through Pat Tillett when she featured a story of his in her drawings. I know we all love Allie Brosh and her Hyperbole and a Half... Cake is Ohio's Version of Oregon's Allie. Yeah. She's THAT good. I love her cartoons and her stories. I think I may have recently read on Twitter that she bought a backpack and hadn't had one in so many years! Really? I don't ever remember a time where I didn't have one.

I always have oodles of backpacks and try as much as I can to fight the urge from buying more.

Anyways, as usual - I'm totally not focusing.

Cake Betch needs some bloggy lovin'. She's going through some icky turmoils. Shit she doesn't deserve...  So go check her out you'll enjoy her stories... I hate it when people I admire go through sadness. Don't they know they're freakin' awesome?

Oh, and she gave me an awaaaaaaard! Something about being an inspiration... She actually dedicated it to me as a roller derby biotch. So I don't know if it should go to Marr*Bulls or to me. That personality disorder of mine is in full swing! I'll gladly accept it here, maybe put the award up on my other blog...

I am supposed to give it to 10 other bloggers. Ugh. If I read you then I love you, then you deserve the award... right? RIGHT? I love getting awards because I'm messed up that way and need the recognition, but choosing a limited group of people is SO HARD!

Way too hard. But this time I'm giving it to only one person. And it's a dude I find very inspiring. It goes to Micael Chadwick. Yes. He is inspiring. And has inspired me to create more art and leave behind me more beauty - as he does daily. Micael, you are a true inspiration. I know... I know... You don't give a rat's ass about these awards, and you're no longer "blogging" per say, but you still have a blog and still post regularly on it.

And because I think you are so deserving of this award, I'm not diluting it by making you share it with 9 others. This goes out to you. And only you. Don't ever stop making this planet a better place mon ami, your art is sheer beauty and anybody who gets to see it becomes a better person.

I'm Part Of The Momfia: And I'm Not A MOM!

I'm over there today! Yayyyyy! Come on over and read me at the San Diego MOMfia website. Click here for the link!

Diary of a Middle-Aged Teenager

I started reading Anne Frank's diary last night. Wow. Why have I waited so long to read this book? She starts off by saying how she has no friends. Then explains she's got tons of friends to play with, talk and laugh with. And she is surrounded by a wonderful loving family but she has nobody to really talk with. Nobody to confide in. Nobody with whom she can share her true secrets. And since this person is non-existant, she decides to call her diary Kitty, and write as if she is confiding to her true best friend.

THIS turned all the lights on in my head. For many reasons... This short paragraph that had already been highlighted by numerous previous Kindle readers explained why I blog! I need true friends that I see regularly and with whom I can truly confide. Other than Booby, this person does not exist.

But what else this told me was how I started blogging out of an obvious need. But recently my blogging routine has slowed way down. Rather than posting every day, I'm now posting about 2 or 3 times a week. And now I am fighting back tears.

Tears of joy - yes: J-O-Y!

Just like depression creeps up on you without you really realizing it, you suddenly find yourself swamped in a Grey cloud. This same nasty ass depression leaves you as silently as it found you to where you wake up one morning, look above in the sky and stare at nothing but Blue skies. Blue skies shining above, nothing but Blue sky do I see... (please do sing along with me).

I am happy. It just happened. I'm doing fun things, I'm potentially risking breaking my butt bone (crashing down on your ass with the extra weight from the derby gear friggin hurts galore), and I'm getting involved in my new community. I worked my ass off for the IndieFest. But man was that ever FUN! And it totally confirmed that I was born for that kind of stuff - special events, festivals and *festivus for the rest of us!

So for now, I am happy. As I delve deeper and deeper into my new friend's life (Anne Frank) this may change a tad bit, I've been warned by a friend - the book is harsh. You'll be the first to know of any emotional change!  ツ

* If you've never heard this saying before, dude, you seriously need to watch some Seinfeld!

Tagged by a Wannabe Stripper

Chrissy from I Shoulda Been a Stripper tagged me.  Years and years ago when I heard the word "blogger" out of curiosity I googled the term because I had no idea what a blogger was and what it ate for breakfast. Trying to figure out what a blog was, google took me mainly to "specialized" blogs. This is how I found the Sartorialist and Stuff White People Like.

Confused, I decided there must be more to this world of blogging. So I dug deeper and found Chrissy. And fell in love with Chrissy. She made it look possible, yet she made it look easy. That's how good she is. She made me laugh. She made me think. And she made me want to share and blog my life away. I knew that when I'd never grow up, I wanted to be a cool blogger like Chrissy. And now she tagged me! *Shivers down my spine*

This is a Q&A type of tag. And here are my answers...

1. If you have pets, do you see them as merely animals, or are they members of your family?
My dream dog (which exists in my heart and my dreams only) is a total part of my family. And I love him to shreds, I only wish he'd come true soon.

2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
Uhm, to have a dog? I just dream of a simple little happy life. You know like the visuals I created on the right hand corner of my blog? Yeah. I dream of that.

3. What is the one thing most hated by you?
I stress out too much. Way-way-way too much. I keep myself up at night for everything and anything. All the "what if's" that usually never end up happening. I wish I could just chill and not stress out so much.

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
For starters I'd buy a Mini Cooper convertible. That car is the shits. Then I'd buy a beach house so I'd have a place to go when 50% of the people in my marriage want to take off sailing. And I'd donate more than half of it to various charities. Buy more Apple stock. Give a million to each of my nieces/nephew. And blog about it.

5. What helps to pull you out of a bad mood?
Washing dishes. Music. The smell of bubble gum (old school type like you found in hockey cards)

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
Loving. Usually when you love you get love back. The more you give in love the more you receive. Maybe not from the same person, but I believe in natural laws of balance, what goes around comes around.

7. What is your bedtime routine?
First thing is I floss. Then I brush my teeth. Then I pee (brushing my teeth ALWAYS makes me want to pee immediately like a Pavlovian effect). Then I put on my pj's. I plug my phone in and turn it off (ugh, wish that were true, I turn the ringer off). Then I pee again in case my bladder did not fully empty itself the previous time (joys of aging). Then I grab my book, get my iPod ready and settle into bed. After five minutes of reading I go back to the toilet. What can I say. I'm sick like that.

8. If you are currently in a relationship, how did you meet your partner?
I met him at a festival in Iowa (of all places) where I happened to be upon invitation from a colleague and he was there because of a local race. The world came to a sudden halt when I saw him.

9. If you could watch a creative person in the act of the creative process, who would it be?
A painter. The Louvres museum in Paris is amazing for this. People set up their easels and reproduce works of art. Some of them are purely amazing. Also I love to watch a carver in action.To witness the sculpture slowly being exposed from a block is bewildering.

10. What kinds of books do you read?
I just got done with The Hunger Games trilogy. I've never finished growing up, the teenie-bopper books (Harry Potter, Twilight, etc. hook me in). I love being told a good story. So anything goes for me other than those cheap romance or cowboy stories...

11. How would you see yourself in ten years time?
How would I do that? With a time machine.

12. What’s your fear?
Being forgotten. When I'd get lost at the mall, as a kid my first reaction was ALWAYS to run out to the parking lot and make sure my mom's car was still there. For some reason I always thought she'd forget me and go home and never notice I was missing. This fear is still hanging around. That's why I love getting mail even if it's bills. Mail confirms I haven't been forgotten.

13. Would you give up all junk food for the rest of your life for the opportunity to visit outer space?
Where do I sign up? I prefer munching on raw cucumbers any day of the week. Besides, define "junk". Is a carne asada taco junk when it's well done?

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married, but poor?
That one is easy. Being that I'm currently married and poor I'll stick with that.

15. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?
Duh! Go to the toilet.

16. If you could change one thing about your spouse/partner what would it be?
Make him less stubborn. And and better dental hygiene. Flossing goes a loooong way!

17. If you could pick a new name for yourself, what would it be?
Chrissy Starr. haha! I don't know!  I'd give myself Alex for a first name. It's strong. And it works in both of my languages.

18. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing that special someone has done?
Yes. I always forgive. Sometimes THAT is the problem. My forgiveness comes too easy.

19. If you could only eat one thing for the next 6 months, what would it be?
Carne Asada tacos.

And now I get to do the tagging and send the blog love towards 4 cybernetic pals:

1. One of my most faithful readers becca from My Life
2. Little Miss SubWow from The Absence of Alternative
3. Nari from narislife
4. umseti from Stupid America

Now get to work my lovely peeps!

I'm Over There Now!

 

Sorry I can't come to the phone, but I'm elsewhere right now. Oh and please do come over and visit with me because I just may not be checking my messages here as I'll be over there, waiting with a bowl of chips. And salsa. I never forget the salsa, America's number one condiment!

P.S. WE WILL RETURN TO OUR REGULAR SASSY PROGRAMMING MANANA!  ツ

New Address - New Award!

Yayyyyy! (As I write this, I am picturing myself as one of the Sesame Street puppets that jumps up and down while madly flailing his arms in the air, not sure if it was Ernie or not...)

Have you noticed I've moved? Look around, see anything different? My url is now directed straight out to www.mycyberhouserules.com  no more dot blogspot, or that old noreallyitsnotme silly stuff. I really think there's way to many blogs out there, when you try to get your blogspot url everything is already taken. Hence that goofy name I had... *sigh*

So! What's this post about really?

I have the joy of reading some of your comments that are just so funny, I think I need to tell the world about it! Some of you guys... deserve an award for that goofiness, and since your work place is most likely not going to compensate you for it, and your families are probably not appreciating your shifty style of commenting, I figure who better than ME to yell it on the roof tops, or blab about it here at my cyber house...

This "I count on you to make me laugh award" goes out to those who've made me laugh via their comments:

1. Holly, you were the original one, the first to technically discover and stick with me, and the first to actually say such great stuff I'd have to go back and edit my posts to include your wit.
2. Nari, you're always there, with some great stuff and my life would lose all it's sunshine if you stopped commenting...
3. ThePeachy1 I will hold up to my promise of pimping you out, but til then, these awards I'm giving you will have to do the trick!
4. Vinny, I don't know what part of the world you're living in, but you still manage to rock mine!
5. Kevin, although I think you've left me a comment only once, it was indeed worthy of an award! Whoo boy, yeah it was THAT good!
6. Doctor Cynicism, it's been a while, but yet I still remember and crave and wish you'd come back again and again, your wit is bewildering!

That's it for now. Now a lot of you leave me regular comments, not that I don't appreciate them as much, actually I do, I really do, but these guys above here? Insanely funny shit man!

What are the rules? They are more flexible than my legs, trust me. If you accept the award, please thank me (the person who gave it to); please re-gift it and offer it to those who make you laugh on your blog and answer this simple question: do your witty answers pop instantly in your head when you read the post with an immediate urge to hit the comment button or do you have to sit and ponder?

The one thing I hate about offering awards is leaving out others who may deserve it, so this award has a never ending shelf life. I get to pull it out every time I get a piss in my pants comment, ditto goes out to the people I've given this award to, you get to give it out again and again (like herpes, only better because it's from me.)

Half-Assed Weekend Post

Joining a Simple Dude's bandwagon 

People rarely read blogs on week-ends, maybe it's because they're out enjoying their week-end rather than sitting at a desk bored in a job they don't actually love? Anyways, click his link above if you've never read his blog. He's always a fun read!

************

Our newly purchased bottle of Capt (Morgan, but do I really need to specify what a bottle of Capt is?) is covered in something we hardly ever see on our bottles: dust.

************

A local gun shop was advertising: "the perfect stocking stuffer". I wondered if the stocking stuffer was the gun or all the loot you'll gain with the use of the gun. I was too afraid to ask.

************

Peter Griffin Investigations??? He REALLY does exist, that's almost as exciting as finding out there is a Santa... (actually, there is one and she is behind project Believe)

************

Hotmail has been sending all of my Blogger readers' comments to the junk box. This is a new thing. I don't know why suddenly it's junking out my comments, but all this time I was feeling ignored and forgotten when it was ME who was in fact ignoring YOU, sorry!

************

I lost a follower yesterday. Was it something I said? Is it because I've been obviously bummed lately and it's been showing through my posts? Is it because I've reposted Moooog's letter? Is it because I'm a sap? Is it because I like Jerry Stiller? If it's that, then jump ship now, that dude is FUNNY!

************

I also felt like sharing some of the cool pics I snagged during my day-trip to Mexico... Enjoy!

This is the Mexican side of the border: daunting!

I always thought cigarettes smelled like shit. At least Mexicans don't lie to you about it!

An American Pharmacy in Ensenada: they must think we are all incapable of fulfilling our sex starved'ness!

Playboy Barbershop... and Peluqueria: Playboys wear wigs?

See those big rocks? That's Mexican for "el bridgo is el closeo"

This is what the border looks like from Tecate. I'm still daunted by it...

Feeling Warm and Fuzzy

The blogworld has united into some really really wonderful stuff. Really wonderful.

First there was Being Peachy and her outreach to help out Trevor who underwent MAJOR heart surgery today.  His favorite color is blue. I'm amazed at how many have actually changed their Facebook profile pic to blue to show support for Trevor. It's simply amazing.

And then there was Claire's story.

And from this story project believe was born. I never in my life realized there could be literally thousands of kids in psych wards. These kids have no family. They're the forgotten ones. Left behind. We get tear-eyed at the thought of a child spending Christmas alone. And it's horribly sad. But what about the 365 days after that? New Years, birthdays, Valentines, Halloween... No trick or treating? No blowing out candles? No ripping off multi colored paper wondering what's inside? How about no hot chocolate after skating at the local rink? Not having anybody teach them how to ride a bike...

I know. Life is hard. But... It doesn't take much to make it easier. Or at least, put a smile on somebody's face.


Project Believe is all about this. Please read Claire's story. You'll be touched in more ways than you can imagine (and no, it's not me groping you, but it doesn't hurt to pretend...)

We've also created a site (still under construction). Become a believer!

Oh and don't forget to go blue too!

To Comment or Not To Comment?

fr.toonpool.com

The Blogging Goddess asked recently: why do some blog posts get a lot of comments where others get so few? Other than say... The Bloggess or Hyperbole and a Half, most of us are all screaming for attention as we all crave comments. Hey, it's the main reason why we blog.

I've been thinking quite a lot about this question.

The blogosphere is like a cyber society with it's own prom queens, jocks and bullies. A high level of popularity is not always a sign of a high quality persona behind the blog. If only it were that simple. I think blogs are a proof of the law of natural selection. Although we may not "smell" the writer, we can sense the writer. We can sense with who we'd want to be friends, share a few drinks,  laugh at or with and we can certainly sense who we'd rather avoid.

Many many years ago, when my ex-boyfriend's best friend suddenly passed away we all surrounded his widow anyway we could. The deceased was one of those whom many claimed as a best friend. (Yeah, his blog would have gotten a shitload of comments...) One of the jobs my then boyfriend and I took over was taking care of the chicken coop. Every morning we'd go out there, feed the chickens, gather the eggs, etc.

I became fascinated with the chickens. They really functioned like in a micro society. The chickens all festered in front of Romeo (the rooster) showing off their feathers and their song. Paulette was the queen. Psychose, with all her losing feathers was on the bottom of the chicken totem pole. They all attacked her. They'd cross the coop and just whack right into her. She was rarely left alone. Some other chickens occasionally got attacked, but Paulette the queen never ever got touched. Slowly Psychose began losing feathers. She was skinny since they never let her eat. And Romeo never got a chance to get close to her, the other chickens would rush out and attack poor old Psychose if he got anywhere near her. She ended up dying. And oddly enough, the chickens quickly replaced her with another poor sap.

The law of natural selection.

Catholic schools make students wear uniforms so the classes won't transpire via kids' clothing. But kids can smell it. We naturally size people up in a fraction of a second. Those above us, below us or our equals. We do this waiting in line at the grocery store, sitting in a restaurant and... through typed words on the internet. It's not necessarily a snobbery thing. It's just a natural thing. And don't tell me "oh I don't do that!" because you do, I do, we all do. Whether we look beyond the initial size up is another question...

And we express this via our comments. I was never the prom queen, actually sat home alone more often than I wanted to since I was far from the "it" girl in school. I was however appreciated by most and thankfully did not attract any hatred. Look at my blog. People like me (I think). But my popularity is not that high... I don't get that much comments. So far I got 1 rude comment, which really wasn't all that rude, just an anonymous person speaking up for the mentally challenged. I've even pretty much stopped using the word "retard" (unless I'm drinking with my racing friends, and well, so sue me).

Chances are wherever you stand in the popularity contest is where your blog is at.

I may be wrong. If so, let me know by inundating my comment field below!

This Shit Is So Random!

Yesterday my phone got a missed call. No message. It was a number I didn't know, so of course I HAD to check it up on a reverse look-up site. The number was a cell phone from El Cajon, CA. Near San Diego. El Cajon (careful, it's pronounced like CAHONE, not CaJone, the j is like a soft sensual h). I applied for jobs in El Cajon. I immediately told Booby I had a job interview. He told me they would have left a message... (Mr. Negative Spoilsport) I told him jobs don't call to tell you you're not chosen. They leave that answer in the silence. Then I started to wonder if I should fly out for an interview or tell them to wait until I'm all done here since I'm driving there anyways. And I am NOT calling to say "Hi, this is Miss Nikki, somebody from this number called me..." that is lame. But I am tempted to call anyways. And yes, I am also the one who on a first date will start wondering if I should change my last name to his once we're married. Shut the fuck up.

Fuck.

Have I mentioned I'm cheating on you? I am. Will you forgive me? I started a new blog. A French blog. I have a different personality in French. I'm more suave. Not as cocky. But it's early still, I only have 2 posts. BUT, in less than 12 hours I got 3 followers. I'm now up to 4. Thanks Catherine (wink-wink). My favorite new French blog is this guy, his blog is called "La boîte à mâles" word play on "inbox" and "box for males". He's gay. I'm not surprised to see both of my personalities are drawn to gay men. Gay men make the best of friends. Ever. (wink-wink wascal wabbit). My blog is called "Dans tous les états." which is also a word play. It's a cross between being or going crazy and being in the States. Thanks. I thought it was pretty amazing too.

Sweet.

Ever read Peachy at The Pits of Being Peachy? She's funny, you should read her. But she also has depth beyond her humor (you know, like me!) well she was invited to take part in the Notebook project.  She asked for help on what to write on Facebook. Me, being me, the one who always jumps in to help even if I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about (yeah, I am TOTALLY THAT person, shut up, I do actually often help in the end when I'm not creating havoc and disaster in my friends' lives). Well, I had never heard about that project (I know, in a bubble my head is right?) ☜ in case you didn't get it, that was me doing the blond girl in Yoda talk, awesome right?  Well, I looked it up. I need to get invited into that Notebook project. To say the truth I thought my life was amazingly fan-fucking-tastic until I had a few email exchanges with Peachy. Her life is a movie which should be co-stared by George Clooney. Lucky. My co-star if my life were brought to the big screen would be a cross between Bugs Bunny, Roger Rabbit and Woody Allen.

I want Mr. Clooney.

p.s. I am 7 followers away from 100. I shouldn't care about that stuff, but I'd be lying if I told you the contrary.

Bullies Anonymous

All this talk about bullying has me thinking. (That explains the smoke coming out of the page)

By reading the blogs you would think NOBODY is a bully. And I call shenanigans on that one. I don't think we are all innocent and guilt free when it comes to bullying. As a kid I was too tiny and chicken shit to actually be a bully. And I wasn't a leader whatsoever. I was a follower. I was a scared little no self-esteem follower who didn't want to lose her friends.

I remember 2 clear situations where my friends bullied another kid. One was a verbal attack (on a boy I totally had a crush on and begged them not to) and the other was a homely looking girl in my Jr. High where my friends went as far as physically attacking her.

The first situation, like I said, I begged them not to do it and to stop, but that was it. It's where my actions stopped. Then I just looked at the boy with eyes saying "I'm so sorry you have to go through this." I was the new kid in this crowd. It was my sister's friends and I was just hanging out with them because that was it for kids my age in my neighborhood. That was THE gang. I felt like shit afterward because although I protested I could have done more to stop them.

The second situation was a little more serious and sad. It was my best friend's gang from her neighborhood. They started it. (I sound like myself when I was 14 years old). And it built over a period of days where they just hounded the poor girl at school calling her a loser. I would just stay quiet not wanting to insult my friend's friends... But when that one ring leader suddenly pulled the girl's hair everything went crazy out of control. Again, I just stood there.

The ring leader later had friends scratch her arms so it would look like the fight was two-sided. But it wasn't. Then I witnessed her crying in front of the school principal, once again making herself look innocent. And once again, I didn't say anything.

Nobody is really entirely clear of bullying. Look at yourself, really take a good look and be honest. It'll only help you better understand why bullying exists and how to finally put an end to it by knowing what YOU did wrong and how YOU let it happen.

p.s. This has been hard to write, simply because nobody is claiming any personal responsibility and being the first to do it, I just may get a total public lashing. But taking responsibility is the first step to provoking change.  And no, my avatar should NOT be smiling, it's just the image I already had, sorry!

Will All Bloggers Hate Me?

I think I hate blog hops.

It's now getting so bad that when I hook up with my favorite blogs they're all about the hops. It's like whoring yourself for followers without giving them anything to follow you about except to just... follow you. No content. No stories. Just hey, I'm on this hop thing, follow me and I'll follow you but won't really read your stories!

Do you hate me for saying this?

When I read a blog I want true stories. I want to laugh at you with you about your idiocy bad luck and unfortunate events. I want to share struggles and know I'm not alone with having people shit all over me. Yeah, it makes me feel good to hear your bad luck because... it helps us connect as strangers and build some kind of useless network of hope for change. You know, it's all about making my the world a better place!

But when your posts are only about the hop thing I just want to hop away. There's no content. Unless it does have SOME stuff (like I looooove the Magpie stories, man the people that write there are some awesome writers!) and even the truth or lie game, it's cool...

I do like hops in beer though. I like beer. I like beer from other countries. I like other countries. I like to travel. I like to live in my fantasy world. Will you come and join me in my fantasy world? There's plenty of room and it's always sunny (like in Philadelphia).

On the topic of pet peeves...

Photo link

Some of you may know this is my 2nd blog. I killed my first blog after over 3 years of regular posting for many reasons...

I advertised the existence of that blog on my race team's website to draw in readers, which worked beyond my expectations. Strangers often came up to me at the races saying how they had to meet me since they read my blog regularly. When that happened I'd suddenly feel naked and exposed. Slowly I started censoring myself. I mainly wrote about the races and life on the road. When I wrote a personal post, I would stare at the publish button for the longest time asking myself if I wanted all these strangers to know such shit about me.

Sometimes it would go even beyond my control as to what could go up on MY blog. My husband (who happens to be my boss as the crew chief) started telling me I had to get HIS ok on posts about the racing... That slowly killed it for me.

It was after all MY blog, I should decide what I write!

But the weird thing was that although I had a lot of readers, I had so very little comments and only 4 or 5 signed in "followers". The readers were mainly race fans, they didn't dive into blog culture and the whole "community" aspect of it.

NOW, with My cyber house rules I get to write WHAT I want and HOW I want. It's entirely MY blog. I get to rejoice behind total anonymity. Haaa, the comfort and joys of talking about having morning sex or my pooping habits... I get regular comments,  I have over 50 followers (ok, so it's only 51 and although they don't all read me or comment regularly, they did at one point feel I was worthy of hitting that follow button).  I've gotten the high-five from a handful of other bloggers which also means the world to me...  But, I always come back to this:

WHY (the fuck) DO I BLOG?

Do I do this only for a handful of other bloggers? And why do I feel the need to tell the world about my nasty past and other stuff? What am I seeking? Am I looking for approval? New friends? What?

I am perpetually asking myself these questions... What about you? Do you go through the same questioning? Or is just a matter of "Oh Miss Nikki, shut up and write more of those crazy stories!"

Going Out On A Ledge!

Photo Link

Have no fear. Clowns are not murderers. They are not out to get you. They want one thing only: to make you laugh. REAL clowns, that is. Not horror movie clowns (which are about the same as Barnum & Bailey clowns).

I was just reading a post on Robyn's Life by Chocolate and thought to myself "Self, how sad is it that the majority of people, majority of bloggers, are afraid of clowns!" To me that's like being afraid of puppies, rainbows and butterflies (oops, have I ever told you the story of how I cried and cried because there was a butterfly blocking my path?)

OK, so being afraid of a clown is not like having a butterfly make you shit your pants, but... come on? A clown? A clown? My biggest dream in life is... to run away and join the circus, so I can be a CLOWN! I'm not a freak (forget about that swinging thing), I'm not a side-show (ok, so I can bend my feet backwards) and I don't make people cry (oops, don't talk to my exes, cause most are still heart broken and crying themselves to sleep as they cling to my fave t-shirts).

Maybe one day I'll post a really really bold picture of myself. I'll go nude and really show you my true colors and yep, put up a pick of me in my costume. My clown name is Mini-Wheat. Is that freaky scary? And my costume is somehow similar or reminiscent of some female super-hero (yeah, I've got a cape, wonder woman boots, tights, and a really really funky ass cool belt to go with it all). How cool is that???  BUT, there is no bold make-up, no crazy wig (my hair is wiggy enough) and no huge stupid goofy shoes. My clown is...  likable, like me!