Friday, March 18, 2011
Diary of a Middle-Aged Teenager
I started reading Anne Frank's diary last night. Wow. Why have I waited so long to read this book? She starts off by saying how she has no friends. Then explains she's got tons of friends to play with, talk and laugh with. And she is surrounded by a wonderful loving family but she has nobody to really talk with. Nobody to confide in. Nobody with whom she can share her true secrets. And since this person is non-existant, she decides to call her diary Kitty, and write as if she is confiding to her true best friend.
THIS turned all the lights on in my head. For many reasons... This short paragraph that had already been highlighted by numerous previous Kindle readers explained why I blog! I need true friends that I see regularly and with whom I can truly confide. Other than Booby, this person does not exist.
But what else this told me was how I started blogging out of an obvious need. But recently my blogging routine has slowed way down. Rather than posting every day, I'm now posting about 2 or 3 times a week. And now I am fighting back tears.
Tears of joy - yes: J-O-Y!
Just like depression creeps up on you without you really realizing it, you suddenly find yourself swamped in a Grey cloud. This same nasty ass depression leaves you as silently as it found you to where you wake up one morning, look above in the sky and stare at nothing but Blue skies. Blue skies shining above, nothing but Blue sky do I see... (please do sing along with me).
I am happy. It just happened. I'm doing fun things, I'm potentially risking breaking my butt bone (crashing down on your ass with the extra weight from the derby gear friggin hurts galore), and I'm getting involved in my new community. I worked my ass off for the IndieFest. But man was that ever FUN! And it totally confirmed that I was born for that kind of stuff - special events, festivals and *festivus for the rest of us!
So for now, I am happy. As I delve deeper and deeper into my new friend's life (Anne Frank) this may change a tad bit, I've been warned by a friend - the book is harsh. You'll be the first to know of any emotional change! ツ
* If you've never heard this saying before, dude, you seriously need to watch some Seinfeld!