Friday, March 18, 2011

Diary of a Middle-Aged Teenager

I started reading Anne Frank's diary last night. Wow. Why have I waited so long to read this book? She starts off by saying how she has no friends. Then explains she's got tons of friends to play with, talk and laugh with. And she is surrounded by a wonderful loving family but she has nobody to really talk with. Nobody to confide in. Nobody with whom she can share her true secrets. And since this person is non-existant, she decides to call her diary Kitty, and write as if she is confiding to her true best friend.

THIS turned all the lights on in my head. For many reasons... This short paragraph that had already been highlighted by numerous previous Kindle readers explained why I blog! I need true friends that I see regularly and with whom I can truly confide. Other than Booby, this person does not exist.

But what else this told me was how I started blogging out of an obvious need. But recently my blogging routine has slowed way down. Rather than posting every day, I'm now posting about 2 or 3 times a week. And now I am fighting back tears.

Tears of joy - yes: J-O-Y!

Just like depression creeps up on you without you really realizing it, you suddenly find yourself swamped in a Grey cloud. This same nasty ass depression leaves you as silently as it found you to where you wake up one morning, look above in the sky and stare at nothing but Blue skies. Blue skies shining above, nothing but Blue sky do I see... (please do sing along with me).

I am happy. It just happened. I'm doing fun things, I'm potentially risking breaking my butt bone (crashing down on your ass with the extra weight from the derby gear friggin hurts galore), and I'm getting involved in my new community. I worked my ass off for the IndieFest. But man was that ever FUN! And it totally confirmed that I was born for that kind of stuff - special events, festivals and *festivus for the rest of us!

So for now, I am happy. As I delve deeper and deeper into my new friend's life (Anne Frank) this may change a tad bit, I've been warned by a friend - the book is harsh. You'll be the first to know of any emotional change!  ツ

* If you've never heard this saying before, dude, you seriously need to watch some Seinfeld!



  1. I was singing with you. I like that song.

    I recommend padded undies to protect your bum.

  2. That is a great book.

    And your butt will be fine. Just have fun and not worry about the butt.

  3. This post brought a smile to my face, stuck a song in my head and gave me flashbacks of the festivus pole. Nice Job! The book is pretty rough but a must read anyway. Pick up something cheery to read afterwards.

    This is my rule for everything. After a scary movie I always watch a comedy. And after I watch a sad movie, I always watch a corny romantic comedy.

  4. yeah...look forward to a later response as can be pretty intense...

  5. @ Rachel: I LOVE that song too, it's one of those songs that sticks with you for hours and leaves you with great vibes!
    @ OT: But I can't sleep on my left side and my right arm gets numb! ;)
    @ Nari: got it, reading "He's Not That Into You" next!
    @ Brian: yeah, I hear ya, but her style is impressive!
    @ aka: THANKSSSSSS

  6. Smile on, Nikki! Smile on. We're smiling right with you.

    P.S.: My captcha is "suness". I don't feel this is a coincidence.

  7. I must read the book. I was lucky enough to be able to go to Amsterdam and be inside Kitty's house. I had goosebumps and then cried when I was inside. It's painfully sad.

  8. The paragraph resonates with me too. I think I might need to read it too.
    I am so glad you are happy. It has certainly been showing in your writing

  9. When I was in High School, The Diary of "Anne Frank" was on of the only books I really read (whole heartedly). We spent an entire semester studying The Holocaust and we were lucky enough to take a trip to the Museum in DC. Anyway. I think it is facinating. I am glad that you are reading it.

  10. i've read this book before loved it and made realized it's been awhile may have to go read it again. hugs

  11. Oh, man... the tailbone injury is excruciating! I've never done any permanent damage to mine, but back when I played hockey, I took a couple of fantastic falls... forming a perfect "V", with my skates at eye level and my ass at the bottom... and crashing to the ice square on my tailbone. I swear it felt like someone drove a hot nail straight up my ass.

    Luckily, it subsided quickly.

    I'm sure Booby offered to rub it for you?

  12. When you're happy I'm happy! BTW I've broken my butt bone and I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy - never mind my best bloggy friend!!

  13. I'm happy that you're happy, dear heart.~ I've experienced a similar epiphany myself only it's the opposite with me because I write *more* when I'm seeing those blue skies.

  14. so glad you're feeling inspired and energized! that's a bangin feeling. happy spring, girlfriend!

  15. It's a great book. Especially if you "get to," in your mind, the time frame in which it was written.

    I'm happy to hear you are diving into your new life down the coast! Did you guys got any of that storm last night?

  16. @ Vinny: not a coincidence at all!
    @ mice: wow. that would be quite the experience!
    @ Mynx: wow, it shows? Really? Cool!
    @ Girl: in Jr High, we all read "Go Ask Alice" diaries are so cool!
    @ becca: :o) you know, although I often plan on reading a book again, don't think I ever have!
    @ bluz: dam it, should asked for some rubbing!
    @ Minute: hope you're in a good place too!
    @ Kat: I dunno, just haven't been inspired recently! Hope that part changes...
    @ punker: thanks!
    @ Pat: we're lucky to be in a "protected" zone, but the boat rocked so much last night we were feeling a bit sea sick! looks bad again today!

  17. I prefer to risk breaking my butt bone in...different ways.

    But I applaud your efforts (and am delighted with your current happiness) nonetheless.

    Do take care with Ms Frank, though. She will sneak up on you...


    - B x


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