Thursday, October 21, 2010
By reading the blogs you would think NOBODY is a bully. And I call shenanigans on that one. I don't think we are all innocent and guilt free when it comes to bullying. As a kid I was too tiny and chicken shit to actually be a bully. And I wasn't a leader whatsoever. I was a follower. I was a scared little no self-esteem follower who didn't want to lose her friends.
I remember 2 clear situations where my friends bullied another kid. One was a verbal attack (on a boy I totally had a crush on and begged them not to) and the other was a homely looking girl in my Jr. High where my friends went as far as physically attacking her.
The first situation, like I said, I begged them not to do it and to stop, but that was it. It's where my actions stopped. Then I just looked at the boy with eyes saying "I'm so sorry you have to go through this." I was the new kid in this crowd. It was my sister's friends and I was just hanging out with them because that was it for kids my age in my neighborhood. That was THE gang. I felt like shit afterward because although I protested I could have done more to stop them.
The second situation was a little more serious and sad. It was my best friend's gang from her neighborhood. They started it. (I sound like myself when I was 14 years old). And it built over a period of days where they just hounded the poor girl at school calling her a loser. I would just stay quiet not wanting to insult my friend's friends... But when that one ring leader suddenly pulled the girl's hair everything went crazy out of control. Again, I just stood there.
The ring leader later had friends scratch her arms so it would look like the fight was two-sided. But it wasn't. Then I witnessed her crying in front of the school principal, once again making herself look innocent. And once again, I didn't say anything.
Nobody is really entirely clear of bullying. Look at yourself, really take a good look and be honest. It'll only help you better understand why bullying exists and how to finally put an end to it by knowing what YOU did wrong and how YOU let it happen.
p.s. This has been hard to write, simply because nobody is claiming any personal responsibility and being the first to do it, I just may get a total public lashing. But taking responsibility is the first step to provoking change. And no, my avatar should NOT be smiling, it's just the image I already had, sorry!