First sign of Christmas:
This morning (11:45) Booby made me breakfast. 2 eggs over easy (total perfect yoke runny not slimy), bacon, 12-grain toast. Then did the dishes! All the dishes even the nasty greasy shit from the bacon!
Second sign of Christmas:
Later on as I was putting clothes away I found a secret stash of money under my undies. $100 I'd put away god knows when, I don't even remember! Yippee!
Third sign of Christmas:
When it rains, it pours. We race a lot in the Midwest. And it's been raining a lot lately, with tornadoes and hail and shit. Dam you greenhouse effect! I recently noticed for the first time my "colleagues" were getting oddly aroused at the site of me in my rainboots with shorts. Tall black boots, black shorts, it took me a while for it to dawn on me (yeah, I'm that clueless, the stripper look.) Today I finally decided to put an end to that. I bought boots that should not arouse weird fantasies.
Fourth sign of Christmas:
I'd been bitching and bickering about our old Verizon aircard. The usb port on it was used up so bad, the connection was as finicky as I can be on the worst of worst pms days. Today, in the mail, was a brand spanking new Verizon Mifi unit. A Mifi! Wireless on the go! Yahaaaahhhh! Oh glee, oh joy! I'm a hap-hap-happy camper!
Fifth sign of Christmas:
I was reading book two of Stieg Larsson's Millenium series (The girl who dreamed of a jug of fuel and a match, direct translation, don't know which of the titles it is in English) when my stomach started to rumble. I asked Booby if he was getting hungry too. He said he was on it. He grilled burgers and (slightly over-spiced, oh when will you learn moderation Booby?) cajun shrimp. Shrimp. Get em while you can thank-you-very-much-you-fuckin-assholes at BP! AND I had some fresh lime in the fridge to go with that cold Corona calling me by. my. name...
*****
Thanks Jerrod. Thanks for making me jealous of your new 4G iPhone, bragging about it's greatness, how it was Christmas for you only to make me realize: Hey, it's Christmas for me too! So there! I poo on you and your phone.
In the meantime dear followers/peeps/stalkers, please start writing all your letters to Santa, begging him to convince Steve it's about time he ditches that useless AT&T provider and goes with a REAL cell phone company. Hello Verizon? How much longer do I have to wait???
p.s. Jerrod, I am glad at least something is good in your life right now... Cheers!
iPhone really would be Christmas every day.
ReplyDeleteI want those boots!! They're super cute and I bet they go with everything!!
ReplyDelete@ KLZ: mmm iPhone... mmm4G.. (not to quote Homer Simpson, but I had to)
ReplyDelete@ Jennifer: Pink? Polka dots? How can they NOT go with everything? Including my wonderful sunny "disposition" in life! haha! Is that the correct saying? The hardest thing to adapt to in a 2nd language is expressions. They are so hard. I always get screwed up in them but appear to have mastered the art of cussing. Ah sweet sweet cuss words, where would I be without you and my new pink boots (Thanks Target! They're comfy too!)
I am your newest follower from Friday Follow Me. Great post! Lead on!
ReplyDeleteI am your newest follower from Friday Follow. You rock! I love your blog. I can't wait to read more.
ReplyDeleteLydia
Newest follower from Friday Follow. You are hysterical.
ReplyDeleteCheck out my blog:
http://thecoolestchickyouknow.blogspot.com/
Hey new Friday followers. Thanks for joining us here who believe life is a bitch but worth a laugh... I will check out your sites ASAP, thanks again for following and commenting my sweet little abode of a cyber-house! (hmm, just thought of a cool name for a blog "Cyber House Rules!" sorry, I own it now... haha!
ReplyDeleteDamn I need to go raid my undies drawer.. cute boots btw!
ReplyDeleteyay for christmas in June!!
ReplyDeletebtw - totally random - my eyesight SUCKS, even with contacts... and when I saw the pic of hte black boots on my feed, well... it looked like a dildo. for lesbians.
I hope that makes you laugh. HARD. It should :D
@ Holly: thanks, those boots are so sweet! I almost wore them tonight, but it was sunny and 200 degrees out all day. It'll have to wait!
ReplyDelete@ Confused: a dildo? for lesbians? I didn't know there was a difference between a dildo for lesbians as opposed to hetero or gay guys... I need to do some research! And I'm blind as a bat too, even with my geeky glasses! Glad to know I'm not the only one.
OK....I'm giving this one more swing. If it doesn't post, it will be my third strike.
ReplyDeleteWhat I said was.....
OOOOOOOMeGod...I've been waiting FOREVER for Verizon to come out with an iPhone. I've been so tempted to get a Droid, but I know that if I do.....iPhone will debut the next week.
I also said....I couldn't respond to your comment on my blog because your email is not enabled on Blogger. :( But yes, I am the Godmother of the Blogfia. :) Look for "hits" and assignments on twitter under the hashtag #blogfia.
I'm going to hit "post comment" one more time. If something doesn't happen this time, heads are gonna roll!!!!!
Squeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! It worked!
ReplyDelete