Monday, January 17, 2011

6:01 am - Missed Call from Maman

My mother, god bless her soul, cannot remember if the West is earlier or later when it comes to time zone changes.

I tell Booby she tried to call me at 6 am. Then we reminisce about the time when...

Me: So anyways...
Mom: Sorry, can we talk about this later? The Packers are coming on.
Me: ??? Packers? You watch the Packers? Why? Since when?
Mom: Well, of course I watch the Packers for your sister. I need to know how they're doing so I can be informed if she talks to me about them. That's what mothers do...
Me: Oh, ok, well we won a race this week-end.
Mom: What? I told you, I have to go.
Me: Ok, bye mom, I love you
Mom: Click - uuuuuuhhhhhhhhh (that last part is the sound of a dead phone line)
  1. My sister is not part of the Green Bay Packers.
  2. My sister is not married to anybody who plays any active role with the Green Bay Packers team, corporation or any of its subsidiaries.
  3. My sister lives in Green Bay, her husband is simply a fan of the Packers.
  4. My sister does not even receive text messages from Brett Favre! (Or so she says)
Whereas, ME:
  1. At the time I was an active key member of a racecar team.
  2. My husband was the crew chief of this team.
  3. This team was a top 10 competitor in its field.
  4. Our level of racing could be compared to a team with the NFL.
  5. My mom never followed my races. Nor did she ever realize what a victory meant to us.
  6. My mom never asked about said races.
  7. When I asked her if she followed us too she would say she never knew when we raced. To which I reminded her of the numerous times I'd sent her our schedule. And links to our website with the schedule. And links to my (old) blog which talked about the racing. Ugh.
When I told Booby about that conversation his reply was "that is wrong in so many ways". And we were reminiscing about that conversation when I told him about the missed call from my mom. After which my mother and I finally did get to talk. Guess how the conversation ended?

Mom: We're about to find out if it will be Chicago or Green Bay in the Superbowl.
Me: And?
Mom: I've been watching all the games leading to this and there's been some really exciting games.
Me: I love you mom
Mom: REALLY exciting games
Me: Gotta go. Bye
Mom: Have you watched any of them?
Me: Click - uuuuuuhhhhhhhhh (that last part is the sound of a dead phone line)



  1. Awwww. I'm sure she meant to say she loves you too. She was just distracted. You know, It is the Packers after all.

  2. packers...packers...if it was the steelers i would understand but...smiles.

  3. My mother is and always has been more concerned with what is going on with my brothers and their world than what's happening with me and my husband. I guess it's because they chose to have children and I did not, so my shit just isn't a priority. It still kinda hurts my feelings though.

  4. how funny that she was that excited

  5. I'd hang up on my mom if she started talking to me about the Packers.

    Of course it doesn't help that I HATE the Packers.


  6. I can agree with you. Don't feel bad for hanging up on her, I would cut out my kids from my will if they were talking to me about the fucking packers. or bears for that matter.

  7. My MIL is from Japan and the older she gets, the more she reverts to her "old self." The other day she just started talking to me in full-on Japanese. When she finished and then realized what she had done, she just cracked up...(in english)

  8. You may find she does the smae to your sister, talks about you. My Mother does that. To me is is all about my brothers and they get shitty because when she sees them, it is all about me. lol

  9. No one can drive you crazier than your own mother. Or love you as much. Yes, I done went sappy all up in here.

  10. "That's what Mothers do" HAHAHAHA

    I like thinking that your sister will call and quiz her on the game, interrogation style. Maybe it's not an attack on you, maybe your mom is just afraid of your sister.

    Or maybe your sister gives her money if she gets the questions right, like a game show.

  11. Clearly, your mom has some sort of secret ties to the Packers and is just using your sister as a front for her mysterious Cheesehead activities.

    On a side note: That is the best impression of a dead phone line sound, I have ever read.

  12. I care. Of course that wont make up for your mom, who has clearly been abducted by aliens and turned into a football zombie. I need you to realize, that if she lived in the south, she would hate greenbay and LOVE racing. also Brett Farve sucks ass as a human, he's from here, and a dick . More importantly the award you gave me is on my blog today. I count on you to make me inappropriately tingly. :-)

  13. Dear Nikki, as president of the Red Headed Step child association I am please to announce your nomination to our group. Of course non of us get love from our parents because we are THE RED HEADED STEP CHILDREN. Even as non step children, without red hair. We will offer up a box of hair dye, and a psuedo step parent ( both male or female models are available) of course you will never meet or speak to them and be excluded from any family functions by them.

  14. Kev has a really interesting thought there!

  15. i can so relate! my mom will spend hours telling me every inane detail of some stranger she met at the restaurant on saturday night but she can't even remember what it is i do for a living or where i work. and don't even get me started on her husband's kids. i call my mom long distance and pay to listen to 45 minutes on every aspect of their lives. even when i try to talk about my daughter/her granddaughter, she changes the subject back to his kids. on my fucking dime! so irritating.

  16. ps: thanks for adding me to your blogroll, dahling. we must have added each other simultaneously. don't ya just love a mutual O?

  17. My parents are the exact same way!!!

    My brother is a total flake who just parties and schmoozes in hollywood and never actually does anything except have a new scheme about how he's gonna be famous or one of his party friends are famous or going to invent a car that runs on water (no, really) or he accidentally got involved in a money laundrying scheme with some foreign mafia (whoops) because a guy said he could invest in a new business but all in cash. meanwhile all my parents want to talk about with me is HIM, oh an how my search for a real job (tie+office+9-5= legitimate)

    bottom line, parents are CRAZY. I totally feel you on this one. also, this post is awesome.


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