Sunday, November 21, 2010

Somewhere Between Here And Nowhere

I took this picture as we left, in case I'd get homesick I figured I would need a reminder of just what exactly it was I had left behind. As I was moving forward on my nowhere trip I realized more and more that nowhere was where I was... not where I was going.

Along the way, we ran out of fuel and in doing so we got so close to James Woods. Our truck is off a bit in terms of fuel gauge. You better be sitting at a gas station by the time the needle touches the red part, and low fuel warning? Not for us toughies! I was driving, Mister Miss Nikki kept waking up asking me if I was ok... "I'm fine, now go back to bed, leave me alone!" Suddenly, it was as if the cruise control kicked a bucket, then the power went off. "Uh oh, I think we just ran out of fuel!" "Don't touch the brakes, just cruise!" I think he's pretty mad at me. How do I know? He's yelling and barking orders like a mother *bleeper*. And I conveniently just drove by an exit. With a gas station.

"Pull over now!" This is where my instinct to remain quiet has saved many relationships. "Get out of the drivers seat! Now!!!" He puts it in reverse and backs all the way up the on-ramp. Scared? Me? Fuck ya! Did you see me buckling up in record time? Now he's yelling at people because they are driving towards us, as we are backing up, on their lane. Also note: oddly enough when you totally run out of fuel enough to kill the power, you will be able to back-up at a crazy speed!

The station we pulled into had a cool billboard of awesome stuff they'd seen at that station. James Woods was one of them. Hi James! A few hours later we decide to stop for the night.  North Platte, Nebraska. "You know the word platte in French means boring, flat, lifeless?" He tells me after looking around us it probably meant the same in English.

Woke up with this huge zit. We debated over the necessity to call the whole trip off and go back home. Wouldn't you after seeing that first pic of our scenery? Bravely, I decide to keep going. I step out the door, on the outside stairs the first thing that happens is I come crashing down the stairs. Dam it. The step was covered in frost. Fucking slippery frozen frost that nearly destroyed my elbow. He asks me if I still want to keep going. Yes. I am brave like that. (I won't show you the bruise, it's worst than the zit.)

May I mention this is what we're headed towards? The forecast for our destination is snow. Crazy amount of snow. Are you fucking kidding me snow. Can we stop and buy snowshoes snow. The prediction is measured in feet, not inches. 3-5 feet. Great. The skiing will be fan-fucking-tastic. Let's keep going. Somewhere inside of me is the energizer bunny, I just know it. Well, there's also a ski bunny. They must be related.

We finally make it to our first destination in our journey to nowhere. Colorado. And trust me, there are mountain goats on this hill, they may be harder to find than Waldo... But they are there. And we are still alive. Partially unscathed. Guys, close your ears and block your eyes: I've also realized this morning that I woke up to the yeast beast, add that to my list of injuries.

But I am so happy to be out here! And to my new followers - I hope I won't disappoint you. Thanks for joining the party! There are many faces to me...

p.s. Stupid blogger messed this one up! I had it "scheduled" for a later posting (because I wanted to edit it) but it posted immediately. I'm just too lazy now to change it.



  1. Well have fun. Sorry about the yeast beast, I guess that means no oral lovings out in the snow for you.

  2. nice...have fun with it...every adventure will have its bumps...maybe you are just getting them out of the way now...

  3. The only problem there with that statement is that her bump is on her chin. lol

  4. Holy Crap! I've actually BEEN to N. Platte NE. I'd never seen so much "nothing" in my life, as I did driving from Denver to N. Platte.

    I went out to open a record store in the only mall within 200 mi. Asked the kids working there if they ever got any good concerts out here.

    They were like, "Well, the Monkees reunion came to the state fair a few years back."

    I asked what they did around here for fun. They said, "Well, last Saturday night we had about 15 cars hanging out in the Kroger's parking lot... and some of them had beer!"

    Nice people, but boy, was I glad to get back to civilization.

  5. The adventure has started. The zit and the other is just probably all the stress in the lead up. Now it is happening you will start to breathe again. Enjoy

  6. I always manage to get a huge planet on my face before going on a big trip too. Have fun!

  7. Guess there really is no such as TMI on to web. I kid, I kid... sorta.

    All the same, I'm sure your adventures will bring you more good memories than bad.

    PS: Come over & snag you award.

  8. i always drive in reverse if we're headed toward snow. but i'd gun it to the carribean.

    hope things begin to look up for you.

  9. @ Oilfield: no loving? How do you think I found out I had that little situation???
    @ Brian: thanks! They say when all the bad stuff happens before an event then nothing bad will happen during the event!
    @ Bluz: yeah. who would ever want to live there?
    @ Mynx: stress be GONE!
    @ cwboys: haha! typical...
    @ Cecelia: it's already almost gone (wish I could say the same about the bruise)
    @ Vinny: hey don't say I didn't warn you! (thanks for the shiny new award!)
    @ Patty: haha!

  10. OMG. He backed up the car on the highway with no fuel??!! Amazing!


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