Monday, November 22, 2010

Sometimes The Solutions Are Too Obvious!

Sometimes the answer is right under my nose: and look at what I found under mine!
Traveling should no longer be taken lightly. For years the success of airline companies depended on making it so affordable anybody could travel! But as it became more and more affordable they decided "let's charge people to check in their luggage!" Another great idea on paper but lousy in practice.

This increased carry-on's to a silly silly proportion.  Really silly! People had suitcases, boxes, baby carts, baby seats, and their entire groceries to avoid dying from hunger in their 2 hours flight. Silly really. And dangerous. How can you ensure amidst all that crap there isn't some jelly bomb or box cutters? Just too much stuff.

Slowly we've made it increasingly difficult for good honest people to get through the process yet, not really controlling the hard core bad-ass motherfuckers who know how to sneak in the appropriate tools of destruction.

Traveling is not safer it's just more miserable.

And why not pre-approve ALL customers who board planes? A license to fly? Sure, why not! Every single person who intends on traveling should have pre-security screening. The more often you travel, the more intense the screening process. But, the easier it becomes for THIS person to go through security. Each traveler would then earn a travel card. This card would show a security level. The ones who own a high security would waltz through a fast lane, like at the grocery store. Slower lanes would be for the low levels of security, also with more screening steps at the airport.

Concerned with the whole access to privacy stuff? Just link it to your passport. Add a color code to your passport quickly and instantly alerting airport personnel of who they are dealing with.

But this... is just this silly little girl's opinion who has already earned way too many frequent flier points and who's tired of dealing with all the crap.



  1. If answered truthfully.. number 6 would exclude me from flying. Every so often bitches need to be shanked.

  2. I have heard that things are brutal in the US right now for travel. I would have to agree with you on a couple of points. If you're going to charge an arm and a leg for the flight, you have no balls to charge me for my luggage. Period.

  3. I am with Holly. I feel the need to run a bitch over everytime I get in the car to and from work. There are some stupid idiot drivers in the world.

  4. In order to fly I would have to lie about #5&6 - and then restrain when they charge the 25usd luggage fee. That and I always, ALWAYS get searched and brought into a secured room for further search. Maybe it's the beard or the metal in the leg or both. - Can't be the metal as I've been searched longer then it's been there.

  5. I flew right after 9/11 and it was just crazy. It was the first time I had been asked to remove my boots. I was in shock. I got used to it after that, but it is still a very strange feeling.

  6. Once upon a time long long ago, I was required to fly all the time for my job. At least two or three flights a week. It used to be easy!

    If i had to fly that much today, I would go stark freaking ape shit waiting in line, paying for luggage, having to deal with idiots. In other words, I would be unemployed...

  7. We got told yeserday at work (post office) that all parcels 16oz or more going to the USA would require a surcharge because of additonal screening and security. I am beggining to think your country is taking paranoia to an extreme level.
    Is our world such a sad and dangerous place?

  8. I think they should do an FBI check on every person who has ever booked a flight. Then, they should see WHY they were traveling and check out the owner of the credit card and all the finances.
    There should be some linking from grocery stores and other stores to see if certain items were purchased on said credit card. Plus, all stores should be equipped with sensors that determine if "bomb substances" have been detected on credit cards or money being handled by this person.
    This will, of course, be linked to your bank account, passport, social security number (which will be more awesome when it's stolen by someone illegal), your DNA and your children's permanent record at school.
    THEN, they should let you book a flight somewhere - anywhere you want - but make it where you cannot book a flight less than 3 days in advance so that they will have time to review your phone lugs and cross reference it with all other people who have applied to fly on that plane and THEIR credit history.
    Finally, your medical history needs to be reviewed and put on your permanent record. This means that anyone with HIV will not be allowed to fly unless they are isolated in a bubble, lest they try to kill a pilot by seduction - or try to kill a flight attendant by enticing them to be part of your "mile high" fantasy.

    If we do all of this, we should be safe. I mean, this will help track all the "undocumented" people in the country (how the fuck are they undocumented if we know how many??) because of the store scanners. The people with expired visas will be caught b/c of all of this as well. Also, the people who have a death wish will be caught easily b/c the medical history of the suicidal will be there.
    Easy Peasy.
    I mean, hell, we're spending trillions upon trillions of dollars of the taxpayer money on other bullshit, we might as well do it on this too.

  9. Sooo... If I answer yes to Q:2 but no to Q:3 can I still fly?

    "No, sir. It's really not for me, you see. I'm just taking it over to a friend. As a gift."

  10. at least its an opportunity for some equal opportunity groping...

  11. Local flights are easier to handle here (Philippines). We have to go through 2 levels of security. International flights has three. Land travel requires a few checkpoints here and there most especially in the South. So yeah, it can be annoying at times.

  12. As I was reading along, I had a feeling you might have accumulated a lot of frequent flier miles. Your plan seemed mildly punitive against the anemic flier such as myself.

    These new security tactics are unfair for those of us who fly maybe once a year and now, for me anyway, it will have to be even less often.

    Just thinking about the invasive body scans and intimate searches...I mean, it's bad enough during swimsuit season...but now I'm going to have to diet and workout just to go to the airport!

  13. @ Holly: remind me not to fly with you! ツ
    @ Cinderita: that whole luggage fee thing is insane! A big mistake I think...
    @ Oilfield: I hear you! But... remind me where you live so I don't drive there?
    @ Jhon: some people just draw that... I know I have that target on my forehead with Immigration peeps
    @ Christy: the first time i was asked to remove my belt i looked at the guy and said "you just want to get in my pants" he didn't like that!
    @ Pat: i know, like you i used to travel by plane a lot, i'm glad it's only 3-4 times per year now!
    @ Mynx: paranoia is this place's middle name!
    @ Miley: uhm, yes I agree?
    @ Vinny: bwahahaha!
    @ Brian: but it's one way groping! it should be you grope me i grope you, no wait not you, how about THAT guy there?
    @ Mice: I want to go to the Philippines...
    @ Nari: hello new follower! I believe in a system where everybody is pre-approved, like you think you may travel eventually just apply, like you would for a passport... get cleared...

  14. I fly a lot also for work. What gets me the most? The fact that when you go through security, there is no scanner or whatnot to check to see whether your boarding pass is legit. Let's say someone is on Do Not Fly list. But how hard is it to fake a boarding pass? esp. one that's printed at home? So the security guard has no way of knowing that they just let a person through that's not supposed to fly.


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