Monday, January 3, 2011

What Did You Did as a Kid?

Was I a CUTE kid or what? Yeah, my nose is still big... Did you HAVE to mention it?
Do you sometimes get the sensation that you'll never feel like you have what you want? What you need? Accomplished your goals? And I'm not talking about glancing on the other side of the fence to check out the color of the grass. This has nothing to do with comparisons or how much more the Jones' will always have.

I mean just you. Yourself. Your feeling inside. Way back when, you certainly had hopes and expectations about your life and what you imagined as a kid staring blankly at the back of the Capt Crunch cereal box (full disclosure: I am not being paid to mention Capt Crunch, although I've just decided to mention it every time I post from now on hoping they'll approach me, I'd love free Capt Crunch for life. That and bacon) while eating breakfast... Surely you had visions of yourself as a grown up! All kids do. All kids have some kind of idea of how their magical little life will take shape.

Or maybe it's more about what you wouldn't want. Yeah, that's it. As a kid you know pretty dam well everything you won't become.

"I'm never gonna smoke cigarettes, those things stink!"

"I'm not going to have a job I hate, I'll have fun at work every single day!"

"I'm not going to drink that nasty stuff that makes my mom talk like a ding-dong while she's ironing and leaving burn marks on daddy's shirts!"

"I'm certainly never going to force MY kids to iron table cloths and towels. How stupid is THAT!?"

Yeah, you did that, I did it, we all did it. It's just what kids did back then. Now all they do is burn their brains and their eyes with video games. But anyways, that's not the point of this stupid self-deprecating post.

I hate the New Year. Every year it's the same thing. I take stock on my life and always end up with a sour taste in my mouth. Like I haven't done enough. Man, I was reading this person's bucket list the other day and most of the stuff on her list is stuff I'd checked off by the time I was 20. I've always been in such a rush to get the most done. And to do everything.

My list is bewildering. The shit I've done, accomplished, places I've visited it's pretty nifty stuff (heh heh I said "nifty" as an ode to my dad whom I miss)! Yet, it's not enough. I've always had jobs that were more fun than anything else, and it's not enough. I moved to San Diego and am living on a boat, and it's not enough. What is wrong with me?

Or maybe it's not just me. Maybe I'm just the result of society's fascination with celebrities and what they have, and their insane lifestyle, and their über rich puppies with more diamonds around their furry little necks than I'll ever see in my lifetime? Is that it?

I beg of you mes chers lecteurs... Please tell me are you like me or am I the only one who needs to consult Dr Phil or Dr Drew (who aren't even doctors! Such boobs they are.)


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19 comments:

  1. I'd like to disagree, but cannot.

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  2. 5 years ago, I had this amazing bucket list, I had lived every second since I was 16 actually LIVING. doing things others would write on a bucket list, I too spent my childhood saying I would NOT do certain things my parents were more of a guide to "what not to do". I always KNEW I would be sitting at a cafe in Paris, watching the sunset from a villa balcony in Tuscany. Painting on the ocean in Australia. Enjoying a breakfast on a huge sail boat out in the gorgeous Pacific In my rush to experience all of this I did so much taking in of life that even though the things I KNEW I would get to do, I now know will never happen for me. I changed my outlook and my expectations, I now expect nothing from myself, so I am pleasantly surprised when I do anything. It's easier for me to accept my road blocks and realize how wonderful my life has been and what a wild road trip of life I have ridden. I hope the same realizations come for you, however while you are physically capable, I STRONGLY encourage you to DO IT. Do it all !

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  3. I think we all have some mixed emotions when looking back on what we have accomplished. At first glance I think I should have done "more" or at least be better off financially then I am, or have had kids by this point in my life.

    BUT, when you dig a little deeper you do see the truth isn't always black and white. I have built a decent career, have a house that is almost completely paid off (i'm renting it out now that i live in the lady friend's place) and no school loans - which in and of itself is a big plus.

    SD

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  4. This is a good post.

    I am going to have to make a bucket list now.

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  5. Ive led a pretty amazing and often bizarre life. There isn't much that I wanted to do that I haven't done. Some of the stunts Ive pulled? OY! I'm just thankful to still be alive each NYE. LOL!

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  6. there is always more...but mine is definitely experiences...not things...

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  7. That strong thirst for life can often a two-edged sword. On the one hand it pushes you to do & experience more but, on the other, it leaves you always restless & wanting more (which in itself isn't always a bad thing). Keep your head up. You've lived & enjoyed many adventures. Be satisfied in what adventures you've had but know that it's not a bad thing to still want a little more.

    Also, for advice, Dr. Phil & Dr. Drew are okay. At least people think their advice counts as solid. I'd avoid taking advice from Dr. Dre or Dr. Pepper, though. They're not as helpful in these situations.

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  8. This brings to mind the old saying "Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it". Then what do you have to wish for after that? There's nothing wrong to aspire to things but it shouldn't be the all or nothing creedo in your life.

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  9. I did that as a kid too, and most of the things I haven't done as an adult. but, i am one of those odd people that doesn't look at what i have or don't have. I just live, and have fun in life. It's too short to be stressed all the time

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  11. People think wayyyyy too damn much!
    I just want to have SEX and plenty of it :)
    Bucket list, schmucket list!!

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  12. I love reading about your adventures! I think you have lived a fabulously interesting life!

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  13. it always amazes me how as children we couldn't wait to grow up and do all things we dreamed of and now as adults we just look back and regret all theings we didn't do.

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  14. I actually said, as a kid, that I was going to be a child psychologist so that I could fix kids like me. I also said I wasn't going to have any children. Neither of those panned out.

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  15. They say happiness is enjoyment of self...that's why experiences and things don't cut it. I'm not there yet either.

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  16. @ Stacey: THAT'S IT! I've been collecting experiences like a nouveau-riche collects artwork or cars, thinking or hoping all these experiences would make me a better person, or somebody to be reckoned with... Thanks! You put the finger right on the spot! So cool... Enjoyment of self. Hmm.

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  17. No, you're not like me. The only thing on my bucket list is to get it over with, already.

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  18. @Nikki...you make me sound so smart, so I have to confess that one of my friends posted that on facebook a few months ago. It stuck with me and I've been chewing on it ever since. :)

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  19. @ Stacey: aaawww, I thought it was a fortune cookie message!

    my cyber house rules

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