Sunday, April 24, 2011

Half-Assed Weekender: The Takers Edition - Part 1

Haven't posted one of these in a long time. Flagging off bloggy buddy The Simple Dude as the initiator of these little half-assed weekend posts.

I've been working on getting my PADI Certification. The term "working" is not to use lightly... My ears are causing an issue since I have a definite congestion problem. After 3 attempts to correct the deviated and corrupt person that I am septum, I gave up on ever even being able to breathe freely from my nose. My mouth is open all the time, yeah I look like I should be the star of Dumb and Dumber. Oh well!

So... this diving thing. To get certified you have to complete a list of sometimes almost impossible and freakishly scary skills. Like removing your mask under water, putting it back on and clearing it, navigating under water, removing your BCD and putting it back on, and other greatly fun stuff. I breezed through ever skill. I grew up in a pool. I literally grew up in a pool! Water beckons me non stop.

It was decided to accomplish all 4 mandatory open water dives in one weekend. Two dives on each day. We had to walk through a 6' crushing wave with 80 lbs of equipment strapped to our backs. But I think I've talked about this before, I need to fast-forward... Long story short because of my ears I had to cancel day 2. Thankfully (for me) the group had to cancel the 2nd dive on day 2 because of a huge amount of jellyfish! Yay me! That put me 1 dive behind the group.

We re-scheduled for the next Tuesday. The group would get their final dive, I'd get my 3rd one in. This was April 12. My left ear has been blocked from that night until Friday night. My dive master wanted to get me done for my final dive as quick as possible. So we agreed to return yesterday (the 23rd).

But. BUT. BUT... My ears. Oh my ears. I was ok swimming around in 15' of water. But as we swam deeper and deeper towards 30' all was no longer okey-dokey. I could not equalize my stupid left ear!

Shit, this is no longer a half-assed post. Oh well!

I signal to the dive master and we swim back to the surface. On the way up she indicates to to a 3 minute safety stop. This is not a mandatory skill, but since she knows I'll be diving off the boat, she decided it was necessary to impose it. I failed the 3 minute stop...

On the surface she indicates she cannot certify me because of that blasted stop. I suggest we go back down and try it again. "Your nose is bleeding, you tore some capillary tissues. You can't go back down, you could cause more damage." Fcuk. The fukkity fcuk! I have to go again! But before doing so I have to see a doctor.

And the worst thing is that THIS was not the purpose of my post. I WANTED to write about yesterday afternoon and our boat diving excursion (which I went for the excursion, but couldn't do the dive - of course) but I'm cutting off now. This post is long enough.




  1. I get motion sick very easily and I can't imagine being underwater when your equilibrium is off balance. That would be horror to me. Good for you though for attempting this.

  2. Well I hope you can get certified soon.

  3. ugh. sorry you did not get it this time around...yeah go see that doc...

  4. sorry to hear you missed out on the dive hope your ear heals soon

  5. That was definitely a full-ass post, love.~

  6. Oh boy! I can only imagine how you were feeling underwater!


  7. I give you a lot of credit derby girl. That ear stuff can be pretty painful but yet you persevere. You must really, really want it bad. I hope you find a way to make it work. Perhaps you should just go Van Gogh.

  8. That's terrible! I'm so sorry you had to go through that and still not get certified.
    I also had some problems getting certified because of my allergies. By the time it was over (and I got certified) I must have sniffed a pint of Afrin. I'm sure you know all about the short term postivies and long term negatives of Afrin. BUT, without it, I couldn't equalize the pressure. Anyway, I used to dive a lot and now I don't at all...


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