Sunday, October 2, 2011

Half-Assed for a Jackass

Enter "santorum" in a Google search box and the very first result you get it is a definition:
Pronunciation: san-TOR-um
Function: noun
Savage Love - 05/29/03

1. The frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the by-product of anal sex.
2. Former Senator Rick Santorum (LINK)

Now, I must confess I am NOT knowledgeable in the sphere of American politics.  So much so that I had to spell check that knowledgeable word. But if a politician speaks loudly on anti-gay shit, then he deserves backlashes. Any anti-gay person makes me wish I wasn't married so I could be gay and seduce their wives. Or their daughters. Heck, they make me want to have 3-somes and 4-somes with their mothers, wives and daughters. Regardless of their age or race. That's how anti-anti-gay I am.

To Kill A Mockingbird is not available on Kindle. That will never cease to not shock me. (Whoa, easy on the double negatives there!)

I woke up wanting to kill zombies. Wish I knew why. Today is the season premiere of Dexter. That provides some explanation, but not all of it. I want a good Wii game of killing zombies. I hate the games where you need to figure shit out, like where to run in a building and how to pick up guns, I just want a good arcade style point and shoot and kill game. 

I'm really a mild nature'd person at heart.

The Mexican Navy rode up to us when we were anchored in Mexican waters. They had guns. They told us to dive off our boat we needed a commercial fishing license. Lost in translation you say? Who cares, they had guns, I had a Wii game without a gun attachment and paintings of mermaids. We left the Mexican waters before having our morning coffee.

After searching and searching we found out there is no such thing as a diving license for Mexican waters. Funny how the power of heavy artillery overpowers any kind of reasoning.

p.s. this is kinda a half-assed weekend post à-la Simple Dude style...



  1. You lost me at fecal matter... but got me back at the premier of Dexter. Thanks for reminding me - totally would have missed it otherwise!


  2. yeah i can tell you are mild natured by the opening share similar feeling on it...

  3. Great! I'll lure the zombies into my hide-out using anti-gay brain splatterings and then you shoot 'em in the head!! (The zombies, because presumably the anti-gays are already dead.)

  4. @ SD: Dexter-Dexter-Dexter!
    @ B'Man: so, you want 3-somes and 4-somes with their mothers, wives and daughters too? Oh you naughty boy!
    @ April: Hello there! Thanks for dropping by, I'll havta go visit you too!
    @ Lil D: I'm stocking up on Zombie tools: machetes, bats, riffles, etc. Cover me!

  5. I was happily going through life without ever knowing the definition of santorum.

    Luckily, I now also know that diving in Mexican waters is far too expensive and besides...I have a feeling they don't properly clean out the santorum.

    (That water's pretty damn frothy!)

  6. Another definition that I'll try to quickly forget!
    Did the Navy guys try to hit you up for some cash?


Unless you are a zombie or a fembot, your comments are totally appreciated! Loved. Desired. And wanted (I added that in case it was not clear)