Monday, November 15, 2010

What Was I Saying Again?
Have you ever noticed how an uncooked pork tenderloin looks like a huge skinned penis? It's almost disgusting now that I think about it. Actually, it's all that I think about when I'm marinating it. You know like "Oooh, look at my big piece of meat!" Oh and please don't ask me how I should know what a skinned penis looks like! I just do, it's that simple.

hee hee I just bought this on eBay! Yippee!
Why do they call a chain bracelet full of diamonds a tennis bracelet? Would you play tennis with a dainty bracelet that cost you hundreds and hundreds of dollars ferociously whacking at those balls like an enraged prehistoric caveman? Not that playing tennis is prehistoric mind you. Well, not that whacking a big stick grunting has anything remotely near being hum, you know, prehistoric...
Now that my days of employment are almost over, and that I'll find myself homeless roaming the West Coast in a pick-up truck containing ALL of my personal belongings, I'm really starting to review my entire definition and opinion of what constitutes a redneck. Come to think of it, I won't even qualify as trailer trash, since I don't even own or rent a trailer!  (Oh and by the way, our truck bed is enclosed, so don't go thinking you can hunt me down on the coast to snag all of my worldly possessions!)
There are times when... Hey remember that cartoon in Bugs Bunny with the 2 dogs? One was a tough pit-bull (or was it a boxer? bulldog?) the other was some little jumping dog? Remember how the little jumping dog kept repeating  "Hey boss? Hey boss? He's my hero 'cause he's so big and strong!" And the pit-bull just kept walking straight, he had some kind of cap on his head chewing on a toothpick, like a bit ol' tough mafia dude. Well, that little jumping dog is me.  Totally me. And oddly enough there are times where the roles ARE reversed in my life like for those two dogs, and suddenly the tough one is all over me looking for leadership. It's weird.



  1. I think the whole "trash/redneck/living out of your truck" thing is hot. You know, in the "I've got all my basic needs with me" way. Not in the "I wanna do you" way.
    I think I should stop talking now.

  2. you know...after the whole skinned penis thing...i am kinda glad we only know each other through the


  3. We all blogged about the peen today!!
    Makes me wonder what YOU did this weekend ........ bwwaahhhaaa!!!

  4. I think you would actually qualify as a gyspy.. I know redneck, and I don't think that is you,, great post!

    check out my blog @

  5. I totally don't think I am on the route your journey is taking you but you know you can come down here to real redneck country. I have a couple of extra bedrooms, but I refuse to clean and I don't think I own sheets that fit those beds any more and I have kidnapped the pillows long ago. So yeah you better have your own stuff. It's not a trailer but I try to treat it like it is, and I have a pump house in the front yard over my real well that looks like Jed Clampet built it. I don't want anyone to think we are upity.

  6. Useless non-penis related trivia (though, yes, I totally agree):

    How did the term “tennis bracelet” come about? As it happens, it actually is related to the game of tennis. You see, Chris Evert used to love wearing bracelets with diamonds in a row. She lost her bracelet during a match; paused the game and looked for the bracelet. Everyone took notice of course and it was one of the most successful product launches in jewelry history, albeit unintentional.

  7. I looked up the origin of the tennis bracelet and now I remember that. I am, after all, old enough to do that. I just didn't realize how profound that would be.

  8. What a wonderful random post. And you are so right about the pork loin. I want one of those bracelets.

  9. @ Miley: I heart you...
    @ Brian: sorry?
    @ Holly: I did "it" of course! I'm a regular... you know!
    @ Amber: cool, I'm a gipsy! yay!
    @ Peachy: do you think I could get Jed's autograph?
    @ Rabbit: wow!!! thanks, now I'll go to bed less stupid tonight!
    @ Christy: cool hunh?
    @ Mynx: the one I got is actually a Silpada zirconia version, but still oh so very lovely! (and cheap!)

  10. you are hilarious...don't think I will be eating pork anymore ;)

  11. Think Gypsy sounds like an apt description. I do agree about the tenderloin visual... after reading this my hubs made a comment about how "aggressive" I am when cutting that up for dinner... He was in the dog house yesterday might be why lol

  12. Pork tenderloin will never be the same for me.

  13. Dude. I grew up in Georgia so I know from REDNECK! And you? Would make the most awesomest redneck EVAR!!!


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