Friday, October 21, 2011

It's Official!

I showed him this ad this morning.

Me: "Hey we can save up to 89% in laser hair removal in LaJolla!"
Him: "I'm already losing all my hair for free!"

He's balding. It is official. And a sad thing. Well, sad because he's totally unaware of how bad the situation is. All he sees is the front where his forehead is increasing in size and growing upwards towards the top of his head. He doesn't see the back side. Of course I never point it out, why would I ever do such a thing?

While I was waiting on the government's decision on my Green card renewal, I would frantically log into the USCIS website to look for updates and "touches" as they call it. Hoping to see the APPROVED decision confirming I can happily go on with my little existence. And by frantically I mean I'd log on 2-3-4-5 times a day. There were times when I expected to see this message:


Yeah. It was that bad. So the 2nd announcement I have to make is: It's official, I have OCD. After receiving the great news that I was approved I found myself staring at my laptop wondering "What am I going to obsess over do now?"

I was lost.

So I accepted this health and fitness challenge from roller derby where we set fitness goals... For this challenge I was also expected to keep tabs on ALL my calorie intake, changes in my weight, my measurements, etc. And of course, I dove into it like any OCD chick out there! I downloaded the My Fitness Pal app into my phone, and dutifully wrote down every single bite I took!

But that, as you may guess, was not enough. I wrote down all my exercises and physical activities also. With estimates on calorie burn from those. And I went out and bought a scale. Ever try weighing yourself on a boat? My weight, depending on where I stood with the scale had a full 15 pound shift!  I don't even know why I bought the scale, my goals had nothing to do with weight since I honestly don't need to lose weight but core area flab. And increase my strength on the track. But, I am OCD so I'm now waiting on Amazon to deliver my heart rate monitor so I can accurately measure my calorie burn from physical activity.

p.s. I cannot WAIT to try that monitor and see for real how many calories "bedroom" activities can burn
p.p.s. on second thought, my lazy approach to "bedroom" activities may result in too humiliating a number in calorie burn...


  1. Sorry, I already beat you to the punch. According to my Lose It App Bedroom activities:

    Passive = nothing, try some bondage!

    Moderate (1 hour) = 18 calories, get to humping!

    Vigorous (1 hour) = 30 calories???

    What really??? Obviously Lose It hasn't seen my incredible hand stand position!!!

    (Definitely worth more than 30 calories!!)

  2. inverted tomahawk position is calorie burning at the max...just saying...

  3. love his response to laser hair removal

  4. You need to get hubby on board with the bedroom weight-loss activities.

    "Now honey, you're not burning many calories like that..."

    "Now let's work on your hand speed."

    Oh, and not for nuthin' but, "Welcome to America! Congrats on becoming an official member."

  5. @ Lil D: 1 hour of moderate lovemaking? 1 HOUR? Ugh! Do they factor in the application of cream to heal the wounds in the calorie burn? I'm such a pussy...
    @ B'Man: inverted tomahawk? oooh, you'll need to post about THAT position (bow-chica-wow-wowwww)
    @ becca: yeah, and as soon as he said I thought "Blog topic!!!"
    @ bluz: Thanks!

  6. I remember writing about those "activities" once (my first Sprocket post). You can actually burn off 200 calories in just 30 minutes.

  7. Congrats on the status! Welcome home!! Well second home anyway. Good luck with your goals..

  8. Congrats on the green card approval - I'm glad we are letting you stay. xo

  9. Maybe you work a treadmill into the act...


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