Tuesday, April 3, 2012

15 Sure Ways To Know He's Cheating On You

www.lifecoachexpert.net
Other than finding used condoms under the car seat and love letters stashed under the mattress, if you wonder and (really-really) want to know if he's cheating on you then read my checklist:
  1. He suddenly started working out
  2. He often looks in the 2-way mirror to check out his butt
  3. He has a new cologne
  4. He went from wearing miss-matching socks (like a brown one with a navy one) to not only patterned socks but they match his entire ensemble
  5. He has many late night meetings at work
  6. He has to work week-ends, and sometimes these "retreats" are somewhere exotic like Hawaii or cozy cabins without phone connection
  7. His credit card expenses have exploded in restaurant fees
  8. He hums in the shower
  9. He bought a new toothbrush to keep in his desk at his office
  10. His cell phone is now suddenly password protected
  11. He stopped complaining about the lack of sex in the marriage
  12. He looks like he may have a heart attack every time the phone rings, you answer and all he hears is you replying "Yes, I'm his wife"
  13. He's very encouraging of your new extra curricular activities that keep you out of the house for numerous hours at a time
  14. His excuses for being late in getting home after work are overly well explained and detailed
  15. You found a small (as in jewelery size) handsomely gift wrapped box in his briefcase (which you never received)
How do I know? Do I need to confess yet again? I was that bitch most people call the "other woman". And that nasty old bad taste of regret never does leave you... Never left me. So I guess I want to offer help to the cheated one. Inside knowledge. 

And just in case you want to throw tomatoes in my face, know that I've been on the other side too. The one that was cheated on. The one that was lied to. The one who's doctor found spots in her pap smear because he didn't think he needed a condom when he went sneaking around. The one who discovered hidden love notes, and was called another name in the middle of sex. Yeah. All that. I've been there too. And oddly enough, I think it's easier being that one that the "other woman".

And no. Other than the image, I did not search and google these examples. The entire content of this list comes from my real life experience with love and marriage. Or, should I say NON-love and marriage. And may I add "Man am I ever glad I'm not playing these games anymore!!!"

p.s. If you're a man reading this, then just scratch off all the "He's" and change to "She".
p.p.s. Please don't kill the messenger, it was a very long time ago, and I paid a hefty price.

21 comments:

  1. I admire your honesty. To the best of my knowledge, I've never been that Other Woman, but I can imagine many of us have!

    I bet my face went six shades of white by the time I made it half way through your check list as most of these items applied to my ex husband.

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    1. Sorry to hear that. The doubts, the questioning, the dwindling of trust, HATED IT, but trust me, I hated even more being the other woman... Would never do THAT again.

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  2. Oooof. This sounds painful all around. :(

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    1. I know, right? Something even the greatest of burritos couldn't fix. And they fix everything!

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  3. the other name in the middle of sex...ouch...
    nice list...errr.....

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    1. Yeah. He stopped himself and tried to make the name segway into something else. Kinda stumps things you know?

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  4. guess i will stop checking my butt...smiles

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    1. Whatever you do, don't let her see you doing it! ;)

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  5. One of my lecturers said once if you place anyone, no matter how much they love their spouse, in the right situation with the right person, they'll cheat. I don't know about that. I hope I can prove her wrong.

    It's brave of you to share your experiences. I'm glad you came out of those situations.

    PS: My wife doesn't wear socks, checks in the mirror constantly & has been buying new perfumes regularly since we met. What do I do?

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    1. Your lecturer may have only been talking of his own weaknesses. I don't think cheating on a spouse is something everybody could do... About your wife, force her to wear socks, remove the mirrors from the house (say they're at the shop for repairs) and hack into her emails and text messages. What about her pastels? Has she been doing more of them? Do you ever get to eat any of them?

      I think you're on to something!

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  6. I recently had someone try to make me "the other woman." I've always said that I would never in a million years become knowingly involved with someone who was in a relationship. And yet... denying his constant advances is one of the hardest things I've ever done. Because I WANT to be with him. Every time I feel myself taking a step toward him rather than a step back, I remind myself that while he might want to have sex with me, he chooses to be in a relationship with her. I need to show more respect for myself than he does.

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    1. Wish I had your integrity back in the day... Sometimes some people need to learn the hard way, and that was me. Bashing my head against the wall. If a married man really wants to be with you then he'll clear his slate first. Sorry you had to struggle through that kind of stuff...

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  7. I unwittingly found myself in the role of "other woman" lately. It was devastating to me to know that I had enabled a guy to cheat on his wife. It wasn't an honor and I wasn't flattered. I was pissed and saddened. He had a job where he could claim "on call" or "emergency" and that he was "at the fire house" to cover his missing time with the wife. He was so proud of himself for pulling it off and was certain he would never get caught. Sickening!

    I'm glad you got yourself out of the situation.

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    1. Didn't you just struggle to sleep at night? Gha. Why do these guys put us through such crap? Sorry. I shouldn't blame the men, it takes 2 to tango, but still... Hope you're out of it. But on the good side is that he was a firefighter? Man. Sometimes they can be total hunks all manly and hero'ly and stuff... ;)

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  8. the only think l can say... AUCH. l feel for you, Nikki, for both sides....

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    1. I know... I'm just truly glad it's all a thing of the past.

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  9. I've been on both sides of that particular scenario! I sure hope that neither ever happens to me again...

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  10. I have been the one cheated on a couple of times (but not by my ex husband) and it is so hard to move forward because it affects your ability to trust. Really hard to shake that.

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    1. I'm sorry to hear that... I know the feeling, the doubts never really go away.

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  11. Cheaters are going to cheat. I never have but I've certainly been the victim several times. I don't think the signs mean as much as the emotional disconnect that happens.

    Maybe Amazon Elixir can write some songs about this. I bet they'd rock.

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