Wednesday, March 28, 2012

On Being

This picture was taken by my good friend Rocio who was visiting her hometown of La Paz.
I turned 46 yesterday.

Spell it out: F - O - R - T - Y  (FUCKIN)  S - I - X

It took me 46 years to learn to be. Simply be. Sounds easy enough, just being, but it isn't. Not for me at least. I taught myself to ride a unicycle in one afternoon. Taught myself to juggle 3 balls in a matter of hours. I'm fully bilingual, and have a 3rd language strongly on its way which I've mainly taught myself from books and practice in a matter of months.

But being? Not years, decades! Its like "Congratulations, you can now breathe!" Ok, so I guess breathing can be quite the accomplishment for certain people... Sorry for being so insensitive.

I mentioned recently that I read Paulo Coehlo's The Witch of Portobello. I was stumped by a quote in particular:
"Let go of the idea that the path will lead you to your goal. The truth is that with each step we take we arrive. Repeat that to yourself every morning: 'I've arrived.' That way you'll find it much easier to stay in touch with each second of your day."
Searching for myself has been a key theme in my existence. Wondering where I was going and always second guessing what I should be doing. "Focus on the journey, not the destination" has always been a big mantra for me.

But the concept that I have actually arrived? Wow. That's beyond journey vs destination. That's being there. Try it out, say it out loud "I've arrived." say it again and again. Notice a change? I did. I shivered. And shivering when sitting under a hot sweltering sun from realizing something big and not from sun stroke confirms the truth.

At least to me it does.

I've arrived. It only took me 46 years. But I am finally comfortable simply being without the need to DO anything.

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Rachel Maddow was on Howard Stern this morning. What an incredible woman. Just thought you should know...

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I think Mexico gets its internet from banana peels and palm tree leaves. Going online is too slow and I'd rather sit outside and watch the life that surrounds me. Sorry to be ignoring a lot of my favorite blogs.

12 comments:

  1. fine ignore me...smiles.

    happy birthday! i hope you have many more...esp now that you are a human being...and not a human doing

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    1. Oh you silly self-help book quoting you... ;)

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  2. Happy birthday. It isn't so bad being 46, I have been there for a few months now. I will admit, that while I greeted my forties with open arms, 50 scares the crap out of me.

    I think you can be comfortable with being but still look forward to more

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    1. The more to come part is the fun part, always wondering what's next!

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  3. Oh my God, I SO love this! Good for, babe. Happy Happy Birthday Darling Nikki! I'm a little over 3 months to 46 myself. ;-)

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    1. Isn't it good to know things get better?

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  4. Happy Belated Birthday, love! That's a pretty amazing birthday gift to yourself: to realize that you have arrived.

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    1. Yes. the feeling is pretty good! Thanks!

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  5. Happy B´day!
    Once in a while i realize i am 43 and i almost go in shock.
    Shit.

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    1. Oh yes. The shock. That often increases!

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  6. Just so you know, I spell almost all words like you spell "F - O - R - T - Y (FUCKIN) S - I - X" :-)

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    1. Wonder why I never won any s-p-e-l-l-i-n-g-f-u-c-k-i-n-b-e-e-s

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